Half term report

The season so far:

Mark Schwarzer

If you take Anti Niemi and Kasey Keller, melt both down and recast the remains into one man, you may well end up with Mark Schwarzer.  He can stop shots like Niemi, he can command his area, take crosses and do all the little things like Keller.  Not flawless but who is?  A huge signing and a big part of why we’ve been hard to score against.

B+

John Paintsil

So far so good.  He is quick enough to get out of trouble, takes no chances in defensive areas, and has yet to be outplayed by an opponent.  He also shows leadership on the pitch: when Lampard’s free-kick went in the other day heads visibly went down.  Paintsil went round his team-mates and told them to keep playing, then made a big effort to drive the team forward himself.  You sense that the fun side of his game has detracted from his reputation as a player, because he does seem to do most things reasonably well.  His play against Fernando Torres at Anfield sticks in the mind.

B

Aaron Hughes

I thought he played quite well last year, but this season he has clearly taken his game to a whole ‘nother level.  He and Hangeland seem to work well together, and while opposing forwards tend to drift Hughes’ way for goal kicks, he has generally acquitted himself well in these situations.  Reads the game very well and is one of the cleanest tacklers I have seen.

B+

Brede Hangeland

Occasionally imperious, always effective.  His display at home to Tottenham was as good as I can remember from a centre-back in any game of football.  A huge signing and a player I hope we can keep.

A

Paul Konchesky

On his day he can be as good a left-back as anyone.  Another player who is generally excellent in the tackle.  For a time I felt his crossing was not good enough, but his work with the ball seems to have improved and could be important for us in the second half of the season.  His ability to wrong-foot forwards and play his way out of trouble is a joy to watch (Hull incident excepted).  Another big asset to the team and hopefully he can maintain his form all season.

B

Others:

Fredrik Stoor hasn’t had much of a look in, but has a slightly melancholic expression that worries me; he warmed up all game away at Spurs and looked desperately unhappy.  Looked very neat in possession against Leicester, so I am hopeful that when his chance comes (as surely it will) he will do okay.

Chris Baird has perhaps finally shaken the old monkey off his back and won over the fans. Sage judges said he should have been at centre-back in the first place; others agreed with this on the grounds that he had no business playing like *that* at right back, so must be a centre-back.  I didn’t know what to think.  I thought he had a number of quite good games at right back, but these all seemed to be away from home so his detractors remained ignorant of his usefulness.  This season he has stepped in a couple of times as a defensive midfielder, and done well at that, and of course had a good 8/10 game away to Spurs on Boxing Day.  Decent squad player, whose future at the club probably depends on whether we gain or lose defenders in the window.

Tony Kallio played in our win over Arsenal and did well.  I would be interested to see him play at centre-back.

Simon Davies

So far above his teammates last year he must have won player of the year unanimously.  Bizarrely, he is now conceivably the player closest to losing his place in the side.  How can this have happened?
Technically excellent, he reminded us of what he can produce against Chelsea by serving up the crosses for both our goals.  Had Jimmy Bullard played and taken the free-kicks it might have been another off-day for Davies; as it was he was a hero (to me anyway – crossing like that is to be savoured).  The nice thing with Davies is that the technique is clearly still there (witness through-ball to Johnson at Spurs), so his blip is more likely to be to do with his role in the team and his role in our attacks.  He has been shunted to the left flank to accommodate Dempsey on the right, and no longer has a key role with the ball because Bullard does everything.  Hopefully a corner is being turned because he’s too good not to have an influence on the season.  A terrific player to watch when on form.

C+ (because of the high standards he set himself last season)

Danny Murphy

Player of 2008.  He embodies the team’s transformation from bad to good, and is now a huge player for us.  At least once a game I find myself privately clenching a fist and mumbling “well in!” after he’s halted another opposing attack.  Choose your own cliche, but to me he’s the gravy that makes the meal come together. People underestimate gravy.

A

Jimmy Bullard

Like Britney Spears, perhaps. I have no idea what to make of him.  Massively popular, somewhat annoying, but clearly does what he does very well.  I worry for the future though.

B+

Zoltan Gera

What might have been.  Not far from having at least six goals this year, he has consistently not quite scored and ultimately this seems to affect his overall game.  Now injured.  He called Brede Hangeland a muppet twice on the Christmas video, which seemed harsh.

I will maintain that Gera’s ability to get into goalscoring positions is a considerable asset and that he’ll come good at some point.  Surprisingly, his defensive and aerial work has been better than his attacking play.

C

Clint Dempsey

Held back for weeks by his canny manager, Clint seemed ready to explode when he did get onto the pitch.  His equaliser against Portsmouth was one of the great shouty moments of the season: “I’M BACK!” etc.  And indeed he was.  When inserted into the team he proceeded to play with considerable fire and no little ability, and continued his knack for important goals with two against Chelsea.  Well played.

B+

Others

Dickson Etuhu has done little wrong when called upon in some important matches, and looks to have the physical tools to be a good player.  It will be interesting to see how he develops under Hodgson.

Leon Andreasen has been conspicuous in his absence, which is a shame as he has always looked like a decent player.

Bobby Zamora

In some ways Zamora has all the skills to be the perfect striker, but currently having problems putting the ball in the net.  If he sticks with it he has to come good.  As some have said, just needs to have one go in off his knee/backside/ear to get going again.

B

Andy Johnson

Not at all what I was expecting.  Gone are the days when he leaves vapour trails and defenders in his wake. Against this, he seems to be an intelligent footballer and a very obviously team-first player.  Shown some predatory instincts and has left defenders panting wherever we’ve been.  An asset to the team, no question.  I wonder if he’ll stay fit for the whole season.

B+

Others

Seol did alright when he played, but has since faded from view.  Seems the mental opposite of Dempsey.

Erik Nevland has the famous number 10 shirt and has played well whenever called upon.  I don’t believe we have suffered greatly from his absence, but am inclined to think that he might have been useful in the later stages of a few of the tighter away games.  Suspect that he will have more of a role to play as the season wears on.

Roy Hodgson

King of the World

A+