Special report from ‘nam

Hello!

This note comes to you from Ho Chi Minh City, or Saigon as it once was and in some ways still is.

Nothing too dramatic to report as I’ve spent most of my time here either asleep (jetlag isn’t, as I had thought, a made-up thing that people who have spent time on aeroplanes use to make a fuss) or working in my hotel room.

It’s hot. There are lots of people whizzing around on motorbikes.  Everyone seems really nice.  I haven’t seen a single person who could be described as overweight. It is a bit uncomfortable to be treated so well. Every time I come and go from the hotel someone wants to carry this, someone wants to open a door.  I appreciate that this is service and a half, but it feels a bit weird. I’ve done nothing to deserve this.

I’ve learned how to use Skype (Stanley was present, but as usual was more interested in smashing the keyboard than speaking to his home-sick father), and the sport on the tv is good.  I’ve watched a bit of NBA, some football (Star Sports, which old school streaming fans will know) and every morning get Australian CNBC for some reason (Australians doing business sounds wrong, like a Brummie high court judge or Brede Hangeland rapping might sound.).  (Yesterday Wayne Rooney was on an advert for an event (in Singapore): “get yourself to (name)” he said with all the purpose of a man asking his wife to pass the crisps. At the end of it he pointed at the screen, with all the purpose of someone who’s been sleeping on their arm and is gently testing it to see if it’s still working. Hilarious, especially so given that Wayne was obviously paid money he clearly doesn’t need to promote an event he clearly neither knows nor cares about, and whoever shot the video didn’t have the balls to say at least try, Wayne?  Hmm?) Anyway, nice to see Reading beating Cardiff, and hopefully they’ll make their way back to bring some more Southernness to the league.

With all this fun I’m due in town in an hour. A suit in 35 degree heat.  Nice.