Transfer Deadline Day: Fulham sign Tim Tebow

Fulham have stunned both Footballing Worlds by signing American Football player Tim Tebow on a free transfer.

“After being healed from my rib, lung and chest injuries suffered during the defeat to the Patriots earlier this month, I had a calling from God that I should try my hand at another sport this off-season,” Tebow said. “I have chosen soccer because of the new challenges and cultures it brings. And I am less likely to suffer additional spine and neck injuries.”

Tebow will reportedly wear the John 3:16 eye black that he sported in college, as the Barclays Premier League has no regulations against its use, unlike the NFL and, recently, the NCAA.

Fulham Manager Martin Jol was coy about Tebow’s signing, saying “I don’t know what technical skills he can bring to this side, but he has one intangible with him: the power of God. And right now I need that.”

Additional unconfirmed reports coming out of Motspur Park state that Alistair Mackintosh and Mohammed Al-Fayed were so impressed with Tebow’s character they are considering turning the visiting locker-room at Craven Cottage into a Chapel.