Frappuccino Fallout

I had a coffee frappuccino in Starbucks this lunchtime. It cost £2.95, which is a lot for ice and coffee, but they are lovely drinks in hot weather and I didn’t have anything else for lunch. So.

When I sat down another person had left their frappuccino on the table.  At Starbuck’s these days you have to give your name when you order so… well, I don’t really know why… so anyway, we can see that this one was left behind by Gemma.

Why did Gemma leave her frappuccino behind?

Was it:

Because she was in a rush?  Maybe, but surely she could have taken it with her? The initial theory works when you consider that Gemma didn’t take her frappuccino to the bin, but you have to consider that maybe Gemma’s one of those people who’s happy for others to tidy up after them in these places (ooh, moralising!).

Because she had been disturbed and had to run off? Maybe, but again, why not take the frappuccino? There were no signs of a struggle so I think the frappuccino was left deliberately.

Because she didn’t like it? I doubt it. She had drunk most of it, after all.

She did like it but was full? This one’s hard to call. For all we know she might have had food with the frappuccino, although there were no crumbs and no plate, so I don’t think so. Also I arrived at just after 12 and Gemma had only recently left, so chances are she was going *on* to lunch next. I think we can discount this idea.

Because these things invariably deteriorate as you go down the cup. I think we’re getting there now. The thing is, with a straw you inevitably suck up more of the good stuff (from the bottom of the cup) at the start. By the end of the drink you’re more or less left with fairly plain ice. Gemma’s residue here is dark brown but I think that’s just because it’s a chocolate frappuccino (I know nothing of these). It’s probably still mainly ice and it’s probably a lot less tasty than when she first got it. I suspect this is the real reason Gemma left her frappuccino behind.

But ultimately it seems futile to speculate. We don’t even know who Gemma is, let alone what her motivations for not quite finishing a frappuccino might be. We make good guesses but these don’t get us anywhere. At about 12:30 a person wearing a Starbucks t-shirt came along, picked up the cup, and took it away.

(Credit Starbucks for humanising their drinks; it gave us much to consider here.)

(Note: this is not an allegorical piece about transfer speculation. That would be stupid.)


Richard Allen is responsible for this drivel.

12 thoughts on “Frappuccino Fallout

  1. I almost always give a false name, not sure why but might be because I like to dehumanize a drink experience that was made by a machine.

  2. I support the *expects someone else to clean up the mess* theory…when you combine the almost empty cup with the straw wrapper, *Gemma* had no intentions of cleaning up after herself.

  3. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head re transfer speculation. : ) PS coffee is craap in UK with the exception of Monmouth and Grinders. Just sayin’

  4. Gemma supports the workers: If everybody cleaned up after him/herself, there would be lay-offs. Gemma is a working-class hero!

    As for the meaningless transfer speculation: Arsenal now have Podolski & Giroud—No need for Clint. Looks like we’ll have him for at least one more year! I like that & I like Gemma!

  5. If that was a coffee related allegorical comment sending up Aussies for pointless competitiveness it was close to genius…

  6. Since “Gemma” didn’t fully commit to her beverage, maybe she had misgivings about the corporate nature of the place and may prefer a cozy, smaller, family run operation.

  7. Thanks Rich, that was a most revealing article. If my hunches are correct, then you have uncovered something of major significance to Fulham supporters. It is worth noting that the name Gemma originates from Italian for gem or jewel. I also noticed from the photograph that the letters MF are written on the cup too and this can only stand for Mid-Field.

    This, in turn, can only mean a couple of possibilities. The most probable is that FFC are in the process of signing one (or more) of the Italian MidField ‘Jewels’ Montolivo or Pirlo. Alternatively, the Gemma in question was Miss Atkinson therefore Cristiano Ronaldo or Marcus Bent are coming to Fulham.

    I should also make you aware that Montolivo’s mum comes from Hamburg so there is already a strong Jol link there.

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